Friday, October 28, 2011

You know you are an adult when..

You are excited about vacuums.  I will admit, I'm quite hard on vacuums.  I have two cats.  One of which sheds hair like her life depended on it, and the other, while not shedding nearly as much, has her days.

Obviously, this leads to a lot of cat hair.  A lot.  (Which is another post and another story for a later day).  And that cat hair tends to clog up vacuums, leading to very short life spans.

Also, on my end, for some reason, the vacuums seem to die odd deaths.  The last major vacuum I had, had the piece that holds the roller on somehow burn itself off.  Even the Kenmore people had no idea what happened.

So, my last vacuum died after six months - well, it is in the process of.  Every time I try to use it, there's a smoking and burning smell.  Even for me, this is way less than normal time.  Usually I get about a year or a year and a half out of them before they become recycled somewhere.

This vacuum, a brand name bagless, has me tinkering with it in many ways in an effort to get it to work again.   I did research, called the help line and they suggested it was the belt.  So I grab a new belt and get to work.  Nope, no belt.  I clean the roller brush.  I remove all parts that can be removed, clean the stupid thing and put everything back together.  (With nothing left over!)


So I call.  This is the conversation between me and the ever-so-helpful CSR rep and then her manager:

Me: Hi, I have an odd situation with my vacuum.

CSR: Of course!  How can I help you?

Me: I bought this six months ago and currently I think the motor has burnt itself out.  Which shouldn't be happening.

CSR:  You're right, that shouldn't be.  Are you sure it's not the belt?

Me:  I just checked the belt.  The roller bar.  Every piece that I could.  It's not that.  I just need to know if it's still under warranty and where I can take it to be repaired.

CSR:  Did you check the roller bar?  Sometimes hair in the roller bar can lead to a burning smell.

Me: *trying to not let my frustration show*  Yes.

CSR:  Okay, well that shouldn't have happened.

Me:  I know.

This conversation goes in a circle for about two more minutes before she suddenly says, "Let me get my manager on to help you."  I think I had confused the poor girl by knowing what I was talking about, or else she really wanted her manager to talk to the nutball on the phone for laughter later.  One or the other.

Manager:  Hi, how can I help you?

Me: The motor on my vacuum is burnt out.  I am just trying to figure out what it would cost to get it fixed or if it's still under warranty.

Manager:  You bought it six months ago?

Me:  Yes.

Manager:  That shouldn't have happened.

Really?  Why thank you Captain Obvious.

Manager:  Are you sure the vacuum didn't get any pieces of towels or blankets lodged in the motor?  Anything that it shouldn't have sucked up?

Me:  Well, if it had started to eat a towel, I would have turned it off and pulled the towel back out, so no.  As for anything else, I don't own any small animals that could have been sucked into the vacuum, and both of my cats are still here.  Mind you, I've tried, and the hose is way too small for them to fit into and they keep running away from the sound of the vacuum.  You should look into fixing those issues.  Though I have thought of cleaning my cat with a vacuum.  Obviously, if I could fix mine, I'd try it, but the motor is burnt out.

Manager: ......

Me: Some cats like being vacuumed to get the extra hair up.  I just have never had a chance to try it yet.

Manager:  Ma'am, I'm not sure we can help you here.  Here's the number for one of our repair centers.

She hung up shortly after that.  I think I had stunned her with my brilliant wit.  Or else she wanted off the phone with the crazy lady who wanted to vacuum her cats.


  1. We used to vacuum our cat when I was growing up. She loved it. Think of it as a full body scalp massage. Our current cats run from anything that makes noise like the vacuum, so no chance to try it on them.

  2. I have heard of people who have done it and the cats love it. So I'm definitely going to try and with the much smaller vacuum I now have, it might work. (Hopefully.)

  3. My dad has a deaf kitty that isn't phased by being vacuumed.

    Did you break my vacuum? Because it's on the fritz too! I swear, electronics have a shorter and shorter shelf life.

  4. Did you get a new vaccum? That's what a grown up would ask.

  5. My mom used to always vacuum our cats when I was growing up, and they loved it. Since my cats won't even stay in the same room as the vacuum it's impossible for me to try it with them, but I sure wish they'd let me. I have two, that shed A LOT and we have cat hair everywhere.....there just isn't any getting rid of it all.

  6. VV, I think it's just electronics in general don't like me. I've gone through vacuums, computers, televisions...ugh.

    atomicgirl - I did. It's a small one, but lots of power to it. :)

    Silverfaerie - I am getting my one cat used to the small brush that comes with the new vacuum, hopefully she'll stick around to be brushed when it's on!